Creative Clues

I had a prof tell me in college he thought the biblical idea of “training up a child in the way he should go” is actually a reference to finding your child’s particular “bent.” In other words, according to my prof, parents are instructed by God to study and know their children in order to provide them with the necessary tools they need for life navigation according to their passions and gifting. Hmmm.

I disagree with my prof. I don’t think that is what Proverbs 22:6 is saying at all (another post, another time). But, his observation has haunted my thinking forever.

Even if that is not what the passage is saying . . . how would the world be different if parents took the time to study their children, know them, create ways for them to express themselves, speak their language, etc.? I want to be that kind of parent. Tahni and I both do.

In that tradition, Tahni suggested I write some “clues” for Kasidy to read throughout the day on her birthday (this past Sunday) leading up to her gift. Kasidy loves mystery, intrigue, surprise, treasure, games, trivia, etc. Plus, she loves giving and receiving gifts. So, in her world . . . gifts are a BIG deal. Gifts aren’t to be taken lightly. They are designed. Purposeful. Thoughtful.

Plus, Kasidy has a blog of her own where she shares her poetry.

The clues were a big hit. Just for fun, here are the clues Kasidy received throughout the day leading up to the big reveal

#1 Wake up! Wake up! Sleepy head.
We know you’re tired and like your bed
But it’s time for you to get in gear
It’s a special day, your birthday’s here!
We have some clues about your prize
So listen close and open your eyes!

#2 Here is clue number two
Something special just for you
Your brother doesn’t have one of these
When he sees yours he’ll be begging, “please”
You’ll be excited, it will be neat
You won’t be able to sit in your seat

#3 You’ll never guess, even if you try
But you’ll be pumped! You may even cry.
This is the third in the chain of clues
You’ll be shocked right out of your shoes

#4 We thought you’d like to pick it out
There are many colors and styles no doubt
Imagine trails through the woods
Do you want to go there? Wish you could?
This will make it easy for you
It will help you push on through
You won’t want to stay inside
Life is too fun—like a ride
You’ll have to learn, you’ll have to train
You cannot leave it in the rain
Dad made a special place inside
To store it—there it can abide
Let’s take a trip to the big giraffe
We like to go there—it makes us laugh
The middle of the place—near the back
Your prize is sitting on a rack
Can you guess what it might be?
(No, it’s not Nintendo Wii)
It’s something that will make you grin
Let’s go to town, let the games begin!

I highly recommend trying this with your kids. Your boss. Your pastor. Your teacher. Your parents (hey . . . Mother’s Day is coming up). Your friends.

This post is part of Watercooler Wednesday over at Ethos. Check it out!

I spell it RAWK

Okay, this is my newest acquisition. Better yet, I acquired it as a gift.

Dave was so excited--like, giddee little girl excited--to give me a gift for my 40th upon his return from Colorado yesterday. I came around the corner to see him with a big grin starring at me, then at my desk, then at me, then at my desk . . . I caught on.

This was sitting on my desk.

Yes, it IS a dulcimer.
Yes, it IS electric.
Yes, yesterday is the first time I played one for longer than 5 minutes.
Yes, it WILL show up in Fusion.
Yes, probably this week.
Yes, it is the first one I have owned.
Yes, I am stoked.
Yes, Dave is thoughtful.
Yes, I suck at it but no one will know because I can pull off anything for one or two songs.

Wine and Dine

Last night Tahni threw me one of the best parties ever. For my 40th celebration, we invited a few of our closest friends to Lantern Waste for a blind wine tasting in the basement—or, man-cave as we sometimes call it.

The food was incredible. My wife rules. Seriously. Homemade chocolate truffles, Swiss loaf, fresh French baguette with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, apricot Brie bake, chocolate fudge cake . . .

Everyone brought a bottle of wine valued at $15.00 minimum with no limit on the high end. We bagged the bottles in brown paper bags with numbers on them. After a short and eloquent explanation of how to “rate” a wine by my hot sexy cougar wife, we tasted the wines rating them by color, nose, finish, body, balance, and taste.

At the end of the evening, after everyone made his or her own notes, we did the big reveal. My number one pick and the wine I must have again is . . .

Drum roll please . . .

Schild Estate Long Flat Barossa Shiraz 2004 Australia, Schild Estate Average retail price $24.99

After falling in love with this wine, I did some research and found it has a great customer rating across the board, usually scoring somewhere in the high 90’s.

The color is very dark and purple with a hint of vanilla, plum, cherry, and spices. It is incredibly smooth and reminded me of liquid candy without being overbearingly sweet. Great balance. Long finish.

My wife took great pictures and posted some more info at her blog. Check it out!

40 Pieces of Advice in 40 Years

The following Top 40 list is an actual list of advice I have been given and/or developed over my 40 years that has served me well.

1. All women are crazy. You need to decide which brand of crazy you are willing to live with.

2. If under contract with someone for a job be nice but not too nice. After you get the money you can be real nice.

3. Making love starts in the morning.

4. Calories don’t count on special days. Live a little.

5. Ministry as a profession should have a comparable salary to those in higher education or administration. Never compare salaries with other churches when determining what to pay your ministry employees unless you are okay with highly underpaying them.

6. You will never save “enough” money by canceling cable. Find the money elsewhere. Keep the cable.

7. Get it in writing.

8. Everyone must eat one bowl of $#!+ a day. Swallow it down and quit complaining.

9. Overcome, adapt, and survive.

10. If you want to know how much time you have left with your kids, count the summers before they go to college.

11. Never loan anything out if you really want it back. Consider all loans a gift.

12. “Fair” (fare) is something you pay to get on the bus. Life is not fair.

13. Never go to bed angry. Ever.

14. “It” will come back to haunt you. It really will.

15. That girl you are starring at if someone’s daughter.

16. If your gut says, “maybe I shouldn’t say this” . . . don’t say it.

17. Sarcasm comes from the same word that means, “to tear the flesh.” It is the easiest and most damaging defense mechanism to use.

18. Don’t yell. Don’t yell back.

19. If someone says something about your family in public—all rules are off. Defend your family.

20. Never tell your kids to do something because of “your” reputation. Never impose rules because of who “you” are. They have their own identity.

21. 25% of what you know is wrong. You don’t know which 25% though.

22. Buy hardcover books. They “feel” better and will make your experience that much nicer.

23. The fine folks at Kraft picked ¼ cup milk and ¼ cup butter for a reason. Do not mess with the Macaroni and Cheese magic. The directions matter.

24. Spend big money on vacations. Consider it marriage insurance.

25. Buy good shoes and clothes. This requires going to “shops” –not department stores.

26. Tell your wife she is beautiful every day. #1 because she is. #2 because she probably doesn’t feel like she is. #3 because the world tells her she isn’t beautiful “enough” #4 because your kids hear it and will do the same for their spouse #5 because she will still wonder if you think she is even when you say it every day so . . . tell her. Do the same for your daughter. You can't guarantee her husband will do the same one day and maybe you r influence will win out.

27. Look nice every day. Even when at home.

28. Pay to stay in the nicer hotel. Save in advance so you can do this.

29. Tip big. The server needs it and you might come back some day.

30. Buy good paintbrushes for your home—preferably “Purdy.”

31. Make friends with the unlovely.

32. Buy term life insurance—10-12 times your annual salary. Do not buy any “cash value” life insurance policies (whole life, universal life).

33. While traveling abroad, eat what the locals eat.

34. Own a good computer. Sure, they all have a shelf life but you may as well fall in love with yours for the 3 or 4 years you have it.

35. Ask your grandparents and your parents to tell you stories. Get them on tape. Before you know it, they will be gone. The stories can live on however, if they tell them. Ask them about growing up. Funny things they remember. If they had it all to do again . . .

36. Go to NYC. Do all the tourist stuff. Then, go back again but this time . . . Buy flowers on the street. And a hot dog. Walk through Central Park. Drink coffee at a little hole-in-the-wall shop. Buy fresh bread at a bakery. Walk everywhere and forget taxis. Wear a pedometer. Drink at a pub in The Village. This will be the NYC you remember.

37. Buy a real piece of art. Not a print in some super store. A nice original painting. Spend good money. The artist needs the money and we need the arts.

38. Never use the word "punish" with your kids. Talk in terms of consequences and discipline but never punishment. Punishment says "take that!" Consequences and fall-out lessons will serve them well.

39. Call your parents. One day your kids will be gone and you will want them to call you. Let them grow up seeing how you did it.

40. Find something you love to do and then find a way to get paid for it.

Era

Today I am in my 30’s (for 20 more minutes, but technically, since I was born in California, I have 3:20 to go). Tomorrow I am not in my 30’s.

So, to celebrate this milestone, I painted this evening. I poured a scotch, I lit some candles, I fired up the iPod, I opened the windows, and I painted.

Today’s painting is about youth. And the circle of life. And shared soundtracks. And fathers and sons. And passing the baton. And friendship. And celebrating the moment.

A handful of people joined me during this painting process as I broadcast the event live on Mogulus this evening. It was great to have cyber friends in the room.

Here are a few pic’s. That is all. Peace.

To see more art . . . enter.

40 Quirks for 40 Years

I have a few quirky things about me. Those who know me and love me aren’t bothered by them—though they make fun of me at times for some of them. We all have them, but some of mine probably require therapy of some kind.

Before you label me obsessive compulsive or give me any kind of illness read my list and take a look in the mirror.

I am turning 40 on Sunday. So, I thought I would put some kind of a Top 40 list together. I had a lot of options because I love lists. I may do some other Top 40 lists this year but, for starters . . .

Here are 40 of my “quirks”—my peculiar habits, pet peeves, prejudices, and what have you.

1. I hate the phrase “what have you.” As well as “if you will.”

2. If I walk outside in bare feet I must wash them after.

3. I wash my face every time I use the restroom. I am addicted to the feeling of cold water on my face. It’s not a germ thing. It’s an experience thing.

4. If I ever loan you a good paintbrush, just keep it. I don’t want it back. It will never be as clean as I want it when you return it. It is my gift to you.

5. My CD’s are alphabetized by band name or last name of solo artist.

6. If a CD is left out of the case, I freak. Freak.

7. When I put a CD back in the case, I put it in with the title at top. Straight.

8. Same as above with DVD’s (arranged by Title except for collections i.e. Johnny Depp)

9. Shirts in closet arranged by type and color.

10. Can handle only limited amounts of symmetry.

11. I hate plastic utensils and get a little freaked out if someone serves me a meal with them.

12. Paper and wax plates freak me out as well. I will use them if I have to but NEVER if they have gone in the microwave. Don’t ask why.

13. I cannot drink out of plastic cups unless I am drinking a soda from a fountain.

14. I need a shower every day at the beginning of the day before I go anywhere. The only exception is when I am camping in some remote area where there is no water and I will find water. Oh, I will find it.

15. I don’t loan music or books. Unless you are a great friend. Too special to me. Buy your own. If you are starving and can’t buy your own music or books, I will buy you a meal. But, you are not borrowing my music or books.

16. If there is a bee in the room I will go ballistic. I will run out of the house like a little girl. Period. Bees are the devil.

17. I am completely intolerant of dumb people. People who say and do dumb things. You know who I am talking about. People who ask really dumb lack-of-street-sense things.

18. When pastors reference the Book of RevelationS I can’t handle it. Revelation. Tion. No S. One Revelation.

19. I want to punch people in the neck whenever they refer to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Steely Dan, or Think LIzzy as a “him.”

20. I will not share a drink with anyone. Not even my wife. I will French kiss her all day long but I will not share a drink with her. I will not French kiss you all day long however.

21. I drink wine out of the correct glass. Period. No water glass for wine. No “cup” for wine. No Yahtzee cup for wine.

22. There is a correct orientation for a meal when it is set in front of you at a restaurant. I may have to turn the plate around when the server sets it down. If I am having an enchilada with rice and beans, the rice and beans go on the right. Everyone knows this. It is universal. Do not set my plate down with the beans and rice on the left of the enchilada. Thank you.

23. Glass dolls scare me. They are evil and a result of The Fall.

24. Never say “I seen that” or we will never be friends. I “saw” that. OR “I’ve seen that” are correct. “I have seen that” works just as well.

25. If I make a list for the grocery store or any other list, do not add something to my list. Even if it is good. The problem is, I can’t mix your handwriting with mine. It’s like you inviting yourself into a collaborative workspace I never invited you to. Don’t make me write the list again. This is the same for leaning over and drawing a picture in my notebook or moleskine.

26. Beer is not made for cans. Bottles. If you offer me a beer and end up handing me a can, I will drink it so as not to offend you. But, that’s just not the way to treat friends.

27. If I tap out a tune, I cannot stop in the middle of a measure or phrase, etc. I must tap it out to the nearest resolve.

28. I cannot allow the TV to be set at a volume that is an odd number. Don’t let me see you stop the volume on 63 when 64 is right next to it.

29. It is Espresso people. ESPRESSO. Not EXpresso. How long has this stuff been around now? You should know better.

30. I cannot eat a garden salad when someone has mixed in the dressing. I do my own dressing.

31. Having been a painter for so many years and growing up in a painter’s home, I cannot watch anyone paint their home. I especially cannot watch them roll. I can’t watch them use bad brushes. I can’t. I just can’t. I have ended up painting whole houses for people simply because I couldn’t let them do it.

32. I watch movies when they come on TV even if I own the DVD.

33. I don’t like people shouting for me. Come find me. Don’t yell from the other room. If you do and I don’t answer, don’t call again. I heard you the first time. I am ignoring you.

34. I don’t like it when people call me “dear.” UNLESS they are from the south and have that cool accent. Then, they can call me honey, dear, sweetie, sugar, or any combination of those.

35. I can bathe in a lake or river when camping no problem. But, I cannot take a bath to get clean. If I bathe, I must take a shower after. I blame this one on my dad and some comments he made when I was a child about washing my face with the same water that . . . you get the picture.

36. I love falling asleep somewhere with a breeze on my face but I cannot sleep with a fan on me at night.

37. I can drink out of a cold soda can with no ice but if that same soda is poured into a glass without ice I cannot drink it. Unless I am in Europe. In Europe they have not heard of how to make ice yet. It hasn’t been invented.

38. The toilet paper unrolls over the TOP of the roll—not from underneath. Hotels know this. That is how they can fold the end in a little triangle for you. The triangle is the hotel’s nice way of telling you that is the correct way. By the way, you can make the triangle at home. I do. Ask my wife.

39. I cannot sleep with my hand over the side of the bed. It will not happen. I blame this on Creature Features—the 70’s TV show.

40. I am afraid of the dark when I am alone. If someone is with me it is a piece of cake. If I am alone in the house, I sleep with every light on. You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Do you have a list? Even a short list? Share some of your craziness with me and the rest of the world! Leave a comment.

Sweet 16

Today my son is 16. We are driving to the Secretary of State after school to officially get his driver’s license. Then, we will drive to pick up our Honda at the repair shop and I will pay them 600 dollars for the work they just did since my alternator froze solid in the Tundra (also known as my driveway) and snapped all the belts connected to it.

I am remembering what life was like at 16. I wonder how Connor will remember 2008. These are the things that shaped my world.

Tahni and I just started dating.

George Orwell’s famous novel—the title of which was the year I turned 16—didn’t actually seem too far from real. In school, we are taught about nuclear fallout and how to survive in case Russia invades. We would see the wall fall and Germany reunited five years later.

The Supreme Court broke up the Bell System because of Sherman Antitrust Act and the game Monopoly made a little more sense to me.

Reagan was re-elected. Bush as VP.

The median household income was just over 22k.

The Supreme Court ruled it was okay to tape shows at home on your VCR without breaking the law. This was good since The Cosby Show debuted when I was 16. This also gave me the freedom to collect boxes upon boxes of VHS tapes full of crap. Some are still in my basement. But, if you love TiVo, thank the Supreme Court for this decision.

Amadeus was the big movie.

Apple introduced the first Mac personal computer. IBM introduces PC DOS 3.0. The big releases of this year in personal computers kinda set the stage for the rest of the story.

Tahni and I went to quite a few concerts that summer including Steve Taylor (the Meltdown tour), Mark Heard, The 77's, Vector, Lifesavers, Undercover, Altar Boys, Phil Keaggy, and Leslie Phillips.

Stryper's "Yellow and Black Attack" was released and changed my life.

"The Unforgettable Fire" was released by U2 and changed my life again.

I started my first band . . . "Monopoly." (ha ha. Funny now that I look back at the first part of this blog). Our first concert was in a garage. We played two songs: an original of mine that sucked and "I'm Not" from Mike Knott and the LSU boys (then called Lifesavors).

"Thriller" won the Grammy. So did "Beat it." Oh, Michael Jackson caught on fire during a Pepsi commercial shoot too.

I subscribed to The Wittenburg Door.

I got my Baja Bug running. I built that VW from the ground up. Gas was about $1.20/gallon.

I heard the word "Aids" for the first time. So did most people.

I saw Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Why is Eddie Van Halen playing synth on "Jump?"

I bought an Ibanez Tube Screamer TS9. If it is good enough for The Edge . . .

Paul McCartney and Wings broke up.

The day after my birthday, "Footloose" takes the number one spot on the charts. Uhhh! I could not stand that soundtrack. What is music coming to?

Wait! Prince replaces Footloose with "Let's Go Crazy." All is well.

Reagan says they will put a teacher in space. My woodshop teacher is one of the finalists. He didn't make it and the whole school was sad for him. Good thing he didn't get to go up.

They put a baboon heart in "Baby Fae."

Marvin Gaye's dad shot and killed him. My dad was devastated.

Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen lost his arm.

The Cars' "Drive" is getting a lot of airplay and I am really disappointed. I love The Cars but this song sucks.


Happy birthday, son. Make good memories and stay away from the things you know in your heart might haunt you later on. A lot changes over time but God is always faithful and consistent. Love God.

I am proud of you. You make me a happy father. You are my best buddy. I love all the time we spend together.

Don't crash the car.