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Sunday, October 04, 2009

Creepy Cracker Barrel Photos

On the first Friday of every month, Kasidy and I have an early Daddy/Daughter breakfast. This time, she picked Cracker Barrel. AKA "The Crack." The food is decent enough for breakfast.

But, it's the photos at our local CB that creep me out. Seriously, Cracker Barrel is ready for Halloween 365 days a year. Here are the most frightening. In no particular order.

Man Grandma
I don't know what creeps me out more--the fact that this "man" didn't even try to look like a woman or the fact that this "woman" may have not tried to not look like a man. This is something straight out of Hitchcock. Grandma looks just fine working in the kitchen till she turns around with that knife. What is he/she thinking? My guess: "Grandpa's not coming home today, kids."

Pirate Peg Leg Baby

Is it just me? Are those legs even in the right place? And, if you look close, I don't know that those are boots. I think I see toes on the left foot (right in the picture). In that case, this child has black legs.

Man Baby

If one of the Lollipop Guild people from the Wizard of Oz had kids with Dr. Evil, this would be the spawn. I picture this child speaking in a deep voice and in complete sentences. Perhaps quoting Voltaire. Perhaps he delivers your death sentence in a convoluted Dr. Seuss like rhyme. I'm pretty sure this is the look you get right before your head gets chopped off.

Angel Wing Mafia Man Baby
Where do they breed these kids? This child is obvious Italian mafia. I know. I'm part Italian. "You lookin' at me?" What is under his . . . onesie? The rest of the gang? Artillery? Pillows?

Varicose Horse
This is the horse that was in The Ring. His face veins are enlarged and tortuous. This is from years of being fed human flesh at the hands of Man Baby.

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