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Friday, January 13, 2006


The other night I told my 6 year old, Kasidy to stop using so much scotch tape. She is a creative genius and always needs to be in the process of making something. I think we are not only patient as parents; we encourage her to make creative messes. I want my daughter to become a world renowned artist if that’s what she wants. Craft and paint all you want baby! But, there’s only so much tape waste a parent can handle. Especially at bedtime.

She was taping pictures all over her wall. She asked if she could have just two more pieces of tape. I told her she could have one. She begged for two. I held my ground. She even asked, “Pretty please?” and I still stood firm. Then she asked, “Jesus please?” (She made that one up and I am not quite sure what it means except that she somehow figures if she includes Jesus in her plea it will give her an edge) She was so stinking cute I almost gave in. But, didn’t.

I came in the room after a few minutes to find—to my disappointment— she had indeed used two more pieces of tape. I called her on it. I was a bit upset. She started crying and told me she didn’t. She cried, “I only used one!”

Now, I am not a mathematician but, I know what I saw and I counted two pieces of tape. New pieces.

She accused me of not trusting her. She told me she wasn’t lying. I told her I know she is a very good girl and I trust her but, it is hard for me to believe she is telling the truth this time.

I asked, “Kasidy, Daddy knows there are two new pieces of tape on the wall. There are two new pictures hanging. It’s obvious, baby you are not telling the truth. How do you expect me to believe you when I see two new pictures?”

Her answer killed me. “I only used one Daddy. I’m not lying. Just like I promised. I just ripped it in half.”

I’m an idiot.

We then had a great talk about how Daddies make mistakes sometimes. I cried more than her.

I wonder how often I have stood my ground because I saw two pieces of tape. I wonder how many conversations have ended before someone had the privilege of telling me it was just ripped in half. I wonder if anyone has ever wanted to explain why there are two pieces of tape but, they have given up because I only see the obvious two new pictures and have drawn my conclusion.

Sometimes we see things so clearly. Things are so obvious to us. Anybody with half a brain can see that we are right. This was a great reminder for me of how my point of view is not bullet proof. I need to take time and consideration with others’ equally valid perspective.

God give me two sets of eyes.


Anonymous said...

Yesterday, when I listened to you tell that story, I was very moved. It reminded me of the time I spent raising my own children.

I love that you aren't afraid to ask for forgivesness of your children. I think that was one of the things that I did right. I did many things wrong, but that was one very right thing I did consistently. Probably not often enough even then.

I'm grateful that the Lord brought you and your family to Westwinds.

Dawn Hunter

Me said...

Great story with a great lesson.
Thanks for sharing it!

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serbrad said...

I was very touched by your story and see myself in your daughter's shoe with my husband. I have decided to forward this to him - probably will get him to reflect. Thanks for that!