As a father, I want to be a hero. I want my kids to love me. Sure, I love them unconditionally but, there is nothing like your baby running up to you unsolicited and hugging you. I don’t want tension. But, sometime—they don’t like me very much.
My 9 year-old is a doll. A princess. And, as most 9 year olds—she has a . . . problem with authority at times. I remember once when she was about 5 I had to send her to her room for a time-out. She had just finished having a meltdown of sorts. She was cranky, tired, had too much sugar, had been spoiled at a friends home, and wasn’t getting her way.
As she stomped off to her room she screamed the dreaded words I had never heard her say.
“I hate you!”
Could I handle it? Yeah. Did I tell her it was hurtful? Yes. Do I want to hear it said again? Not really. Did I stop loving her or beat her for saying it. No way. I told her there is nothing she could say that would make me stop loving her. I would still love her even if she didn’t apologize. As a matter of fact, I wept for her.
So, what does Jeremiah do? How does He handle it when he is angry at God?
7-10You pushed me into this, God, and I let you do it.
You were too much for me.
And now I'm a public joke.
They all poke fun at me.
Every time I open my mouth
I'm shouting, "Murder!" or "Rape!"
And all I get for my God-warnings
are insults and contempt.
But if I say, "Forget it!
No more God-Messages from me!"
The words are fire in my belly,
a burning in my bones.
I'm worn out trying to hold it in.
I can't do it any longer!
Then I hear whispering behind my back:
"There goes old 'Danger-Everywhere.' Shut him up! Report him!"
Old friends watch, hoping I'll fall flat on my face:
"One misstep and we'll have him. We'll get rid of him for good!"
11But God, a most fierce warrior, is at my side.
Those who are after me will be sent sprawling—
Slapstick buffoons falling all over themselves,
a spectacle of humiliation no one will ever forget.
12Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, no one fools you.
You see through everyone, everything.
I want to see you pay them back for what they've done.
I rest my case with you.
13Sing to God! All praise to God!
He saves the weak from the grip of the wicked.
14-18Curse the day
I was born!
The day my mother bore me—
a curse on it, I say!
And curse the man who delivered
the news to my father:
"You've got a new baby—a boy baby!"
(How happy it made him.)
Let that birth notice be blacked out,
deleted from the records,
And the man who brought it haunted to his death
with the bad news he brought.
He should have killed me before I was born,
with that womb as my tomb,
My mother pregnant for the rest of her life
with a baby dead in her womb.
Why, oh why, did I ever leave that womb?
Life's been nothing but trouble and tears,
and what's coming is more of the same.
What I learned about expressing emotion from God:
- God is not afraid of your honesty—He already knows, you cannot hide anyway, there was no lightning, there was no smoke when Jeremiah spoke these words. As a matter of fact, God continued to use Jeremiah and be pleased with him. (Moses fought with God as well)
- When you are convinced of God’s character and love—you know it’s safe. Jeremiah knew He was Lord and Creator (10:12-16) He is all powerful (32:27) He is everywhere present (23:23,24) He desires reconciliation (31:31-34) By God's very nature and names He let's us know He is "safe" and desires our honesty.
Jeremiah knew God could handle a messy, disorganized, angry, gutsy, painfully honest prayer. He cursed God out. He accused God of seducing him. He called God a liar. He threw it out. “This is where I am at, God.”
Quite frankly, I think Jeremiah was even being sarcastic with God in verses 11-13
11But God, a most fierce warrior, is at my side.I have a hard time believing Jeremiah was being "sincere" in 11-13. Those statement are bookended by him shaking his fist at God. I can picture him saying it in a mocking tone.
Those who are after me will be sent sprawling—
Slapstick buffoons falling all over themselves,
a spectacle of humiliation no one will ever forget.
12Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies, no one fools you.
You see through everyone, everything.
I want to see you pay them back for what they've done.
I rest my case with you.
13Sing to God! All praise to God!
He saves the weak from the grip of the wicked.
How do we feel about that? Are we ready for that kind of honesty? Is God?
Do we believe that God is all the things He says He is? Kind, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love, just, righteous? If so, He has to be the kind of God that can handle my screwed up prayers.
This was a hard one for me to learn. For most of my Christian life, I may have said I believed it, but I certainly didn’t practice it. I was taught to be "respectful" in my prayers. Which usually, for me, meant "fake it 'till I make it."
Sometimes, the things I have thought “should not” be uttered.
Psalm 62:8 says “Pour your heart out to God, He is a refuge for you” It does not say to rehearse your prayers and clean them up. It doesn’t say put on a happy face. It doesn’t say turn that frown upside down. It doesn’t even say to take out the cursing. God is a refuge.
